A few weeks ago, I landed my biggest Etsy sale to date. Every once in a while, I’ll sell something for a couple bucks on Etsy that goes towards my “play” money (let’s face it – it really goes towards more craft supplies). This sale made me feel really good about my silly little critter candles.  I had a custom order for nine dinosaur candles that were going to sit on store shelves in a Florida boutique!  It wasn’t just a bulk sale – I was gaining real storefront exposure!

I gave my customer a 1-2 week window for pouring and shipping and got the order processed a few days ahead of time.  I spent an entire morning wrapping candles in bubble wrap and placing them carefully in the box, making sure they were extra protected by padding the box on all sides.  I ended up paying double what I charged in shipping, but felt it was worth it to get these candles out to my customer in an expedited amount of time. 

I was nervous on a whole about this sale being it was my first big one through Etsy.  Would my customer like the items I custom made for her?  Would they be well-received by her customers?  Apparently that was the least of my worries.

Two days later, the candles arrived in Florida.  Damaged.  I was PISSED!  The USPS not only damaged the contents of the box, but the box itself.  In fact, it looked like they played soccer with the box before re-taping it (and believe me, I use a ton of tape when it comes to packaging).  Somehow the mason jars remained in tact.  My dinosaurs didn’t do as well. Six out of the nine candles I shipped had damaged toppers.  Dinosaurs broke off.  Paint chipped from the mason jar lids. 

I blew off some steam, ranted about the USPS and apologized to my customer over and over again.  Thankfully my customer was really easy to work with in coming to a fair resolution.  I am working on replacing her broken items and filed a claim with the USPS. 

Moving forward, I am taking this as a good learning experience as a small business.  I could have turned this positive selling experience into an ugly one.  Instead, I’ve kept it a positive one because it could have been worse.  I could have dealt with a nasty customer who wasn’t willing to work out a decent resolution.  Instead, we promptly agreed on a fair fix and are keeping this transaction on good terms.  I could have had to replace all of the candles, jars included, and lost a ton of profit on this sale.  Instead, I got off easy only having to replace toppers.

The biggest lesson learned (business and otherwise) is that no matter how much care you take, bumps in the road happen and will happen.  It’s how you compose yourself and move forward that matters.  At the end of this transaction, I want this boutique to see that although my shop is small, I handle my sales in a truly professional manner.  Maybe even in such a manner that they would want to do business again!

How do you handle yourself when you hit a bump in the road?

Dear Jessica,

I know you’ve been struggling lately and feeling a bit defeated.  I just wanted you to know that you’re doing fine. I know that when you’re up, you’re UP and you feel unstoppable. But when you’re low, everyone around you feels it – especially your all-too-patient, loving and awfully wise husband.

Recently you had a talk with him and it left you feeling lighter, loved and a hell of a lot better about yourself and your goals. You told him that you HAD to do this. You had no other choice. You’ve been busting your ass, working so hard, to get your words and designs out there. And when they fail to come to the surface, it’s not only frustrating, it’s down right devastating to you. You fall to your knees and ask yourself if it’s all worth it. Trust me – whether you fail or succeed, it will all be worth it in the end. Because, as you said, it has to be.

All of this work you’re doing shows you have a passion, a fire inside of you. You’ve found something you truly love to do in life. Whenever you feel like a failure, remember – how many people can say that they’re doing what they love? Remember that there are millions of people who wish they could be where you are now, right in this moment.

So when you look at your numbers, the income that isn’t coming in and the opportunities that aren’t knocking, think about it this way – you’re currently being paid in passion. Things may change and no hard work goes unpaid.

And like that all-too-patient, loving and awfully wise husband of yours said, life would be boring if you didn’t have any goals. Keep going forward because you’re doing so much more than you did yesterday.

With love,
Jessica

If you wrote yourself a letter, what would you currently have to say?

On Christmas Day, I found out that I was going to be an Aunt again.  Whenever someone announces their pregnancy (and there have been quite a few announcements recently), I can’t help but feel a certain way.  Not because their news upsets me or because I’m some evil baby-hater.  Because I wonder how many people are still wondering if we’ll be next. The answer is becoming clearer and clearer to me – no.  Not even close.  Consider my eggs scrambled.

After leaving my job and getting married, it seemed appropriate to start planning for a family. We tried for some time and I must admit that I’m kind of thankful nothing came of our trying other than pleasurable experiences.  There are times when I sit back and realize that parenthood doesn’t seem to be in our cards and I get a bit bummed out.  I mean, isn’t that what we’re supposed to do as humans?  First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby?

Then I remember the screaming child assaulting my ears aisles away in a store while mom seems to do nothing about it.  Or the mother who just about mows me down with her shopping cart because apparently “child in the front seat” equals the right of way (this happens more times than it should).  I usually direct a profanity to her under my breath as I smile, thankful I haven’t forgotten simple manners like saying “excuse me” and still have all of my toes in tact.

As I look back even further, aside from that period of trying, I can’t actually remember dreaming of becoming a parent.  Fashion designer, writer, magazine columnist, Martha Stewart’s coffee-fetcher (topped with fresh hand-ground cinnamon, of course) – yes.  Heck, I don’t even remember having many daydreams of a perfect wedding either.  I guess that’s why City Hall followed by a quaint backyard reception was perfect enough for us.  

As people go on and on about their children, I listen.  I’m happy for them.  But I can’t help but feel like my “babies,” my career endeavors (building a website, my successful Darby Smart designs, a growing Etsy shop and blog contributions) aren’t as exciting to some as childbirth, changing diapers and nap time.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love being around babies and seeing these tiny little people observe the world and get excited about little things we’ve forgotten to feel as selfish adults.  I have admitted to being too selfish about growing tiny human beings.  I just feel like there’s a great divide between moms and those who choose not to become a parent.  

I love the support I’ve received this past year.  There have been many times when I’ve felt like giving up and I’m reminded that I’m working on amazing things.  My husband, especially, has dealt with far more than he needs to and has witnessed his fair share of creative meltdowns. The fact that he hasn’t kicked me to the curb with my large storage system of supplies and collection of notebooks in tow speaks a lot about his patience.

I didn’t write this post to bash the mothers of the world.  I know parenthood is hard work. Especially parenthood when you’re a working mom.  But for f—‘s sake, non-moms matter, too! I know my parents are proud of me for achieving certain goals.  But there are times when I feel like I might be a slight disappointment to them because I haven’t popped a baby out of my va-jay-jay.  I’m still doing cool shit with my life!  Shit neither side of the parental units may understand, but don’t underestimate me.  I know what I’m doing!

Yup.  I’m having a case of Carrie and the stolen Manolos (or SATC Episode “A Woman’s Right to Shoes”).  Maybe I’ll register for design supplies instead of fancy shoes.  Although a sexy pair of silver slingback designer sandals couldn’t hurt as I strut through the store dodging shopping carts.  

In case you’re wondering, I’m registered at AC Moore, Darby Smart, M&J Trimming, JoAnn’s and if you’ve got time, Manolo Blahnik.