I broke down Friday night. My niece was born early Thursday morning. Since then, all I’ve been asked is when I’m going to have a baby. It’s been irritating, but didn’t really get to me until my father-in-law came over and asked how our new niece was doing. I told him that she was doing well and is oh-so-cute. I knew that look in my father-in-law’s eyes far too well while I was gushing like a proud aunt. He went on to say, “Well, you know, you’re not getting any younger.” One of the very last things he said to me was, “If it’s not working out, you can always go see a doctor.” That set me off. Boundaries, people! When my husband and I started talking seriously about the possibility of starting a family, we both agreed that we wouldn’t seek help. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. If it’s not, we accept that it’s not in the cards for us. If God thinks we’re ready for a child, He’ll bless us with one. But for now, I’m enjoying being “just us” and embracing every single moment we have together, just the two of us. I may have snapped a little in my reply, but I’m so sick of these questions. My baby niece was only just born. Can’t we be happy and embrace that?!
When my husband came home from work Friday evening, I told him about the conversation I had with his father and how I’ve had more than one encounter with the question ever since baby C. was born (and it hadn’t even been 48 hours since her arrival at that point!). Over dinner, I started to cry. I was just so frustrated. I’ll admit, I had a dose of baby fever holding my niece, but who wouldn’t holding a brand new baby? My husband understood how I was feeling. These questions affect him, too. I asked him, “What if we both decided we really didn’t want kids? Would we be asked this question for the rest of our lives?” He said, “Probably.” My husband said, everyone means well and it’s almost like a compliment to us. It’s just a bit obnoxious. Especially since the wishes for us to have a baby started before we even got engaged! One thing I said to him was that I don’t want to feel like I can’t hold my niece because I fear eyes on me while I’m smiling down at her little face. I want to simply be Aunt Jess, not Aunt Jess who should hurry up and have a baby of her own.
Whenever someone has asked when my husband and I were going to have a baby since C’s arrival, a little piece of me felt heartbroken for my brother and sister-in-law. This is their time to shine. The spotlight should be 100% on their baby, not 90% on their baby and 10% on questions about when I’ll have a child of my own. I just wish everyone would back off a little and savor the joy they already have! A beautiful baby girl with 10 tiny fingers and toes, a cute little nose and quite a head of raven black hair!
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