Life certainly comes with its share of twists and turns. When I thought about my word for 2018, I thought about how I’ve gotten SO much better with stressful issues that come my way. Usually, I find myself completely losing it and barreling towards a mental breakdown. But like Vanilla Ice said, “If you got a problem, yo, I’ll solve it.” So this year, I’m going to persevere. I’m going to push through every ounce of bullshit that comes my way and know that I’ll be better for it in the end. Of course, I’m slightly lacking hope in my “go-getter” attitude at the moment. I failed miserably with my word for 2017, balance.
I had such high hopes to maintain balance in my life. But in the end, I realized that trying to find “balance” was actually dragging me down. In my quest for balance – between spending so much time working on my blog and trying to spend a lot of quality time with loved ones – I was also holding onto that “I’ve got to please everyone” mentality. And, no. No, I don’t. I don’t have to please everyone all the time. So I started to waver a bit and found myself “off-balance.” But in a good way.
I started saying “no” more often. And liked it.
I not only liked it, but felt less and less guilty every time I said it.
So while I learned the power of “no,” I also learned the power of saying “yes” to myself. I’ll always be grateful for the opportunities that I’ve had in life. Even the ones that haven’t come completely full circle. After all, everything in life is a learning experience. That said, this past holiday season, I received a pretty decent offer from a local event coordinator.
And I turned it down.
Midway through negotiations, I decided it wasn’t the right fit for me and my blog. Most of all, I started to feel like I wasn’t valued as a person willing to do the work I was about to do. So I walked away and learned that you absolutely have to go with your gut. At the start of the partnership, I wasn’t 100 percent sure it was something I wanted to take on. Especially during such a busy time of year. In the end, I made the right decision. I said “yes” to myself and “no” to a company that didn’t even have the decency to respond to my last e-mail.
At times, it seemed like I lost a lot this past year and was still fighting past demons toying with my self-esteem in just about every aspect of my life. But you know what? I’m starting the year feeling like I’ve won for once. All in all, 2017 wasn’t such a bad year. It’s had its share of moments I wish had never happened, but I’m coming out of it on top. I still have a few kinks to work out from my lack of balance last year, but I’ve got a whole, new year in front of me.
I’m definitely starting this year a better person than I was last year. And about those struggles 2018 is bound to throw at me – I’ll persevere.
Word to your mother.